ON 30 January, we reported on the fat content of Cadbury’s Mini Rolls. Now Rod Costigan sends us his thoughts about another Cadbury product, .
The packaging of this “exotic taste sensation” boasts that it is “60 per cent less fat*, and always has been”. Rod says he often sees these “less fat” claims on food packaging and wonders whether they are comparing themselves with another product or just an old version of the same one. He has tended to assume the latter but this would mean “always has been” makes no sense.
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Then Rod took note of the asterisk, and soon found a corresponding asterisk and an upside-down note on the edge of the Turkish delight pack. This revealed that the point of comparison is per gram of “the average of leading chocolate bars”.
Rod finds this disappointing. He points out that Fry’s Turkish Delight is mainly a Turkish-delight-type of substance, as you would expect – so, even though it is coated in a thin layer of chocolate, surely the proper benchmark should be Turkish delight, not chocolate. But perhaps “contains more fat, and always has done” (in comparison with pure Turkish delight) doesn’t have quite the right ring to it.
Nevertheless, Rod likes the idea that chocolate might become the fat content benchmark for the whole food industry. A pork chop, for example, might boast that it has “10 per cent less fat* [*than chocolate], and always has done”.
Then again, if you can choose any benchmark you like, why not choose fat itself? In which case you could advertise a pork chop as “50 per cent less fat* [*than fat], and always has been.”
Now that US giant Kraft has taken over Cadbury, perhaps these products will start to display fat content information that makes more sense.
“A sign near where Neill Jones lives announces: “Concrete Works.” Neill finds this reassuring to know”
IT IS with mixed feelings that we announce an addition to the ever-expanding lexicon of quack-babble. It is “energy resonance”.
Brian Burford sends us a copy of a page from the Higher Nature catalogue promoting “wellbeing products”. The ones shown are all said to contain energy resonance. Take the Personal Stabiliser “energy resonance pendant”: “This elegant, high-grade vacuum tube pendant contains a strip of 24ct gold encoded with energy resonance, to build and maintain a powerful energy screen around the individual, to nourish balanced emotional and physical energy… Comes with a cotton cord for tying around the neck.”
Perhaps even more remarkable is the Bio-pulser drink/food mat. It is: “A gold-leafed, hand-crafted gneiss stone mat charged with energy resonance. Place under wine or a plate of food to vitalise, improving taste and quality… can also be placed under cups, glasses, plants or pets’ water bowls.”
Unfortunately, “energy resonance” doesn’t come cheap. The pendant costs £51.60 and the mat £77.90.
PARENTS of children aged 7 are best advised to avoid a certain play area in Camden, London, Isabel Mauricio tells us. A sign outside reads: “This playground is designed for children of the following age groups: Toddlers aged up to 6 years, who must be supervised by a responsible adult. Juniors aged 8-14 years.”
Isabel wonders if they have discovered a rare local space-time discontinuum phenomenon, or an equally rare biological phenomenon, the net result of which is an age-specific black hole or triangle into which 7-year-olds disappear.
WE ARE all used to prices going up from time to time, but Paul Brown says he was a bit flabbergasted by the “Important Message” he received when he started the process of buying a USB card reader on Amazon. It said: “Please note that the price of Integral Single Slot USB xD Card Reader has increased from £0.50 to £110.68 since you placed it in your Shopping Basket.”
Converting pasta into London buses
CONGRATULATIONS to the UK’s Public Finance magazine for its use of two wildly disparate units of measurement in one sentence. Amanda Randall draws our attention to a curious headline in the magazine’s 12 February edition: “LGA wants quangos to be condemned to the pasta”. Even those who know that LGA stands for Local Government Association and that quangos are quasi-autonomous governmental organisations will find this statement puzzling.
The article that follows explains all, after a fashion: “Did you know that if you spelled out the names of the 790 quangos in England and Wales in alphabet spaghetti it would stretch the length of 10 London buses?”
But what, we ask, is the conversion factor?
FINALLY, some people have all the luck. Not only did Alan Bird receive a B&Q dampness testing meter as a Christmas present, but it had an unexpected and potentially very useful property. As well as being able to detect rising and penetrating damp in foundations, walls, floor and timbers, it is “suitable for checking the dryness of surfaces prior to papering, tiling, painting or vanishing”.