And we鈥檙e off
WELCOME to a brand new year! After the litany of disasters that befell 2016, we鈥檙e hoping to ride a soaring regression to the mean in 2017. No doubt many of you have decided on your New Year鈥檚 resolutions, and so have we: absolutely no more nominative determinism. And we really mean it this time. None! Don鈥檛 even think of sending more in. Now, on with the show.
鈥溾赌�, 11 are about a particle that didn鈥檛 exist,鈥� Davide Castelvecchi on the hype about the Collider鈥檚 illusive 750 GeV signal鈥�
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Ministering to the sick
LAST month, British MPs met to discuss the progress of the Department of 午夜福利1000集合鈥檚 cancer strategy. Naturally David Tredinnick, Parliament鈥檚 resident professor of potions, was keen to 鈥� a word we use rather lightly.
Tredinnick stood to complain that far too much of the UK鈥檚 squeezed health budget was being spent on treatments that have been proven to work.
Tredinnick also told MPs that Chinese herbal medicine could treat 鈥渃ervical cancer, non-Hodgkin鈥檚 lymphoma, HIV, colon cancer, head and neck cancer, breast cancer and prostate cancer鈥�.
Feedback suspects that these claims, were they to be expressed outside Parliament, would likely fall foul of the 1939 Cancer Act forbidding the promotion of ineffective treatments. 鈥淚 believe that several of my constituents are alive today because they have used Chinese medicine,鈥� Tredinnick insisted.
Trash talk
WARMING to his theme, the Bosworth MP also heralded the benefits of reiki healing, aromatherapy, reflexology, oxygen therapy, homeopathy and raw food to people with cancer. On the medical power of miracle foods, Tredinnick reminded MPs of the old computing adage 鈥淕arbage in; garbage out,鈥� sending MP Nic Dakin into fits of laughter. No doubt Dakin was wondering, as we are, what exactly Tredinnick has been swallowing.
Open and shut case
LONDON鈥橲 Design Museum is celebrating its move into new quarters in Kensington with an advertising campaign encouraging people to visit 鈥渢he museum that never closes鈥�.
Peter Rummer is therefore confused to find these very same posters advising visitors that the building shuts at 6 pm.
In the sky with diamonds
IN-FLIGHT magazines are an endless source of delight, Feedback thinks, and Peter Kitchen has the latest gem.
During a trip to Australia, he found an ad for the Made In Earth jewellery company, which claims to create 鈥渆xquisite silver jewellery set with the finest natural gemstones from all over the world and beyond鈥�.
鈥淎s an ex-miner of gemstones in Africa,鈥� says Peter, 鈥渢his made me think I should have set my sights considerably higher.鈥�
Short of breath
PREVIOUSLY Feedback discussed the creative and comic ways in which titles can get truncated by machines (2 July 2016).
Patrick Fenlon thinks this often results in irresistibly obscure headlines. 鈥淚 note your online edition has provided another example,鈥� he says, 鈥渨ith 鈥楥ourt orders UK to take urgent action to reduce air鈥�'鈥�
0 calories
READER Brian King previously complained of ephemeral foods finding their way on to the menu, such as 鈥渂unless meat-free burgers鈥� (3 December 2016).
鈥淚 remember writing to Rowntree鈥檚 in York 60 years ago when I was a mere lad,鈥� says Chris Smith, 鈥渁nd suggesting that they advertise Polo Mints as 鈥楾he mint with the non-fattening centre鈥�.鈥�
Sadly Chris鈥檚 early foray into copywriting was much ahead of its time, and 鈥渢he mint with the hole鈥� kept being just that.
In character
A PUZZLE that may require some elementary thinking: Mike Lavan writes to ask if it鈥檚 possible to find celebrities whose names can be spelled using only single letters featured on the periodic table.
鈥淭he late actor Bob Hoskins had such a name,鈥� says Mike, 鈥渢hough I am not aware that he ever felt inclined to pursue a career in chemistry. Are there any examples of chemists who have elements-only names?鈥�
Google whacked
JANUARY is a time to take stock, if not metaphorically then literally, as many of us prepare to file tax returns.
Pity the headache faced by Jayne Shardlow鈥檚 accountant, after she received an invoice for a number too large for us to print in full, but which we鈥檝e rounded up as $8.77脳10197.
Jayne says, 鈥淚鈥檓 concerned that we don鈥檛 have sufficient funds.鈥� Feedback isn鈥檛 sure the planet does, either.
One in hand
FINALLY, Loren Byrne writes to highlight Canada鈥檚 search for a national bird ().
She notes that 鈥渙ne of those advocating for the grey jay is none other than an ornithologist named .鈥�
Which of course means our New Year鈥檚 resolution has also taken flight. Oh well, there鈥檚 always 2018.