Batter and batter
SCOTLAND is well known for its experimental chip-shop cuisine, which has pushed the limits of which food items can be battered and dropped into hot oil, from haggis to Mars bars. Now Murdo Macdonal brings news that the network of Food Researchers in Edinburgh goes by the apposite acronym ““.
“Ian Henderson is told that his trial period for AVG anti-virus software has been extended by 2147483647 days, “or the best part of 6 million years”. Time enough to make a decision?”
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A good pastime?
DURING the festive season, Arthur Coker spotted a model kit for sale that offered the chance to “build your own skeleton, then add flesh and skin,” which, it added, was “Four dimensional”.
Arthur says he wants to buy one “and watch it age”, though Feedback wonders if all hobby kits are four dimensional toys, unless you are an impossibly fast builder.
A small byte
FEEDBACK heard that the online IKEA repository containing all the assembly instruction booklets for their furniture is itself “under construction” (19 November 2016).
Martin McGovern writes to say that a short while ago, he had reason to visit the website of United Biscuits – “from where one can visit another page containing their cookie policy,” says Martin. “I don’t normally click on those links, but I couldn’t help thinking that they ought to know better than most.”
What doesn’t kill you…
ON THE subject of last words (19 November 2016), Andrew Sanderson writes: “As a GP, I spent much time telling my patients and my children to ‘leave it alone, it will get better’. My daughter has promised to engrave my tombstone with ‘He left it alone and it didn’t get better’.”
Moving average
CROSSING the median when driving could be dicey in more ways than one, finds Alan Smithee. His membership with the AAA roadside assistance service warns him that “a Member who requests or uses an excessive amount of Service; that is, uses Services over a sustained period that are greater than the average Member uses, may be subject to membership downgrades at renewal or the non-renewal of the membership.”
Feedback thinks that this policy ought to gradually reduce the average number of call-outs over time. Certainly that’s one way to keep customers moving.
Power walk
ANDREW DOBLE finds the future isn’t all it turned out to be, pondering why “self-winding watches have been around for 240 years, yet my Fitbit has to be recharged regularly”.
Feedback assumed it was a design feature – walking around the house plugging in all our health tracking gadgets is the only exercise we get.
Seasoned reporter
OUR inbox continues to be peppered by readers unpicking the mystery of whether “Himalayan sea salt” deserves its name. Allen Reynolds notes that if it is named after the location of its source, the Khewra mine, the salt is produced “310 kilometres from the Himalayas, but only 260 km from Lahore. Doesn’t this make it Lahore sea salt?”
But if it is based on where the salt was laid down 800 million years ago, in what was then an evaporating sea, says Allen, two thirds of its name are justified. “But there were no Himalayas back then, as the mountain range is only some 55 million years old.”
Hemmed in
WITH a warming world on his mind, Don Wycherley is pleased to discover that department store Marks & Spencer sells what it calls “climate control” trousers. “One can only hope that these will achieve a significant reduction in the emission of greenhouse gases,” says Don.
Coal order scuttled
SPARE a thought for Brits struggling to keep their homes warm this winter, thanks to puzzling restrictions on buying coal. Terry Jeffries discovers a UK government page listing regulations on solid fuel, which declare it can only be sold in quantities of 25 kilograms, 50 kg and .
“So, if I want to buy 125 kg of loose coal,” says Terry, “I’ll have to order 100 kg and 25 kg and ask for it to be put in the same bag”.
Terry notes that the same page also tells him what units whisky can be sold in – which might be useful for keeping warm until the coal merchant arrives.
Fuels for fools?
MEANWHILE, Faith Anstey discovers her local coal merchant offering “Homefire Ovals” for sale, which are described as “oval-shaped ovoids”.
The alternative to these oval-shaped ovoids, says Faith, are described with the words “super”, “new” and “premium”, and are 40 per cent cheaper. How do they manage to sell any Homefire Ovals at all? wonders Faith.
Illumination needed
REX WAYGOOD finds himself in the dark when it comes to changing his lightbulbs. He purchased a “star classic” LED bulb that boasts an energy rating of “10 kWh/1000h”.
“I quickly worked out that was 10 watts,” says Rex, “but could they have used a more obtuse power rating?” A closer look at the packaging revealed the bulb was identified as drawing 9.5 W. “Where is the extra 0.5 W coming from or going?” asks Rex. Perhaps it’s the energy you expend trying to understand it.