Bottomless brunch
Working from home doesn鈥檛 always bring out the best in us. The rot sets in early, with late starts and cheekily long lunch breaks.
By about day three or four, many people start to crave their normal office routine and attempt to replace it by going on tea rounds for the houseplants or asking the children to circle back once they have ideated third-quarter objectives for the cat. The next and final stage, or so we are told, involves dialling into video calls while not wearing any trousers.
We always thought this was something of an urban legend, a tall tale that freelancers whispered to office workers in a bid to make the grass seem greener on the other side. But now, at least according to Yahoo Finance reporter Daniel Roberts, we have harder evidence.
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, an executive vice president of retail giant Walmart, told Roberts that the boom in video conferencing means 鈥渨e鈥檙e seeing increased sales in tops, but not bottoms鈥�.
Our doggedly sceptical colleagues in New Scientist鈥檚 news team say it is a great story, but they don鈥檛 buy it. As far as Feedback is concerned, that鈥檚 fine. You only need to buy half.
It鈥檚 the feds
One thing about a national lockdown that Feedback was looking forward to was the excellent excuse it afforded us not to exercise. But even this small silver lining has been irreparably corroded, as all sorts of fitness-minded individuals and organisations have arranged free, diverse and easy-to-follow training routines that you can conduct in the discomfort of your own home. How inconvenient.
One that has garnered a lot of attention these past few weeks is the FBI鈥檚 fitness app. That鈥檚 right, the same FBI that brought you sunglasses, cool jackets and the incarceration of Al Capone. It turns out that FBI agents need to pass an intensive test of physical fitness, which the Federal Bureau of Investigation has now gamified and turned into an exercise app.
The organisation has been promoting it intensively at this time of home fitness, which is laudable. Or 鈥� to don sunglasses dramatically and stare into the camera 鈥� is it?
As various people on Twitter have pointed out out to be better for the feds than it is for you, in part because to your location, personal data and almost the entire contents of your phone. So enjoy working on your physique in an enclosed space, readers 鈥� you may well need the practice.
Criminal negligence
One of the few positive aspects of this time of global crisis has been the sense of solidarity. That unifying feeling, whether on social media, over the phone or out your window, that we are all in this together, no matter who you are.
Even so, Feedback was surprised when we came across two unlikely groups seemingly attempting to flatten the curve: terrorists and gangs. According to , ISIS has recommended that its followers stay away from heavily infected regions, and gangs
Bad times roll
Time for the most baffling coronavirus-related press release of the week, a feature that could become a staple over the coming months as companies become increasingly shameless in their attempts to cash in on the crisis.
This week鈥檚 winner cannot be improved with commentary. It is perfect in its simplicity and haunting in the appropriateness of its central punctuation mark. Ready? Here it is. 鈥淭oilet roll shortage: 70% willing to poo in the shower will you?鈥� For the record, it鈥檚 a no from us.
Blunt appreciation
It is a lesson that every performer must learn early in their career: you have to know your audience. Or, in the case of noughties icon James Blunt, singer of the 2005 cringe-hit You鈥檙e Beautiful, you have to know who isn鈥檛 your audience.
As he , while many other artists are doing mini-concerts from their homes, I thought I鈥檇 do you all a favour and not.鈥� Thanks, James, there is only so much we can put up with at the moment.
There are many people we would implore to take a similar vow of silence, not least those companies we ordered something from years ago that unfortunately still seem to have our email address. Look, we may have enjoyed that board game box set we got as a present in 2005, but come on, 鈥淢r Monopoly鈥檚 COVID-19 response鈥� isn鈥檛 something we really want in our inbox.
Blame game
Feedback鈥檚 eye was caught this week by to the historical site he pinched it from as a teenager.
According to a report in The Times on the incident, he fears the end of the world is approaching and the relic had been weighing on his conscience.
It is an admirable sentiment, and one that Feedback can only applaud. So if anybody wants to learn from this and return the Haruki Murakami novel they borrowed from us in 2012 and never gave back, then we would be only too willing to absolve their guilty souls.
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Send it to New Scientist, 25 Bedford Street, London WC2E 9ES or you can email us at feedback@newscientist.com