LET鈥橲 talk about sex 鈥� or not. Many of us have trouble striking the right tone or even finding the right words, caught between obfuscating with the birds and the bees or titillating with undue detail. For the topics too awkward to raise in person, there is always the internet, but its answers are many and highly variable.
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Factor in the pernicious moralising and social taboos still pervading discussions of sex, and credible, non-judgemental sources of information become a valuable resource 鈥� if only to reassure you that, yes, you are normal.
Impulse is billed as a practical, 鈥済o-to guide鈥� to the questions and queries about sex that everyone would like answered. Co-authors Samuel Chamberlain, a psychiatrist at the University of Southampton in the UK, and Jon Grant, a psychiatrist and behavioural neuroscientist at the University of Chicago, study compulsive sexual behaviour and related conditions. Here they bring together their own findings and others. As they note, the stakes are high: 鈥淚f we know so little about sex, how do we know if and when sexual desire is typical or healthy?鈥�
The user-friendly focus is clear from the chapter headings, which identify common issues, much like the table of contents of a home repairs manual: too little sex; too much sex; developmental issues and sex; drink, drugs and sex; or digital technology and sex. Each is an even-handed exploration of the predilections and pressures often at play, with a view to demystifying the murky mechanics of desire.
The combination of scientific studies and clinical experience, plus cultural analysis, is effective at unpicking the myriad influences on our individual sexual desires and society鈥檚 role in shaping them, and makes clear the need for a nuanced understanding of sexual behaviours deemed excessive or risky.
It is easy to imagine some of this authoritative advice and patient, big-picture contextualisation being transformative for readers struggling with unnecessary shame 鈥� or at least a step in the right direction. For example, the authors dismiss the social taboo that masturbation is 鈥渟inful鈥� or perverse, and even justify the suggestion that it could be healthy, referencing a study that found a link between more frequent ejaculation and a lower risk of prostate cancer.
Even for those who understand that it is normal for sexual appetites to differ within couples and perhaps fluctuate over time, Impulse can provide friendly reassurance.
Although Chamberlain and Grant鈥檚 overview of sexual behaviours and common problems is wide-ranging, lack of space can make it seem a bit perfunctory in places. For example, the chapter on physical health is dealt with in short sections covering areas like 鈥渟ex and mental health鈥� or 鈥渟ex and heart problems鈥�. Inevitably, these would be of vastly different interest to individual readers who might prefer a more in-depth look at one or the other.
Between the subheadings, summaries and reliance on rhetorical questions, Impulse functions more as a user manual than a work of non-fiction. Even the anonymised case studies can be too generalised or improbable to be illustrative. I particularly struggled with 21-year-old nursing student 鈥淎udrey鈥�, who has 鈥渘ever taken it to the 鈥榥ext level鈥� with鈥� the 鈥測oung men she has dated occasionally鈥� and 鈥渨onders if there are any positive benefits of sex, rather than it being 鈥榓ll bad鈥� or just for the purposes of having children鈥�.
If someone has a specific basic query, or is in need of particular reassurance or knowledge, Impulse is an authoritative addition to the shelf 鈥� but we could be forgiven for wanting a little more sex appeal.
Elle Hunt is a writer based聽in聽Norfolk,聽UK
