Liat Yakir (Watkins Publishing)
IT IS just over 30 years since the Eurodance singer Haddaway posed the question 鈥淲hat is love?鈥� and we still aren鈥檛 much closer to consensus. Despite the enduring, bottomless interest in love, our knowledge about what it actually is that brings and keeps people together is limited.
What鈥檚 more, the parameters are changing all the time. In many so-called WEIRD (Western, educated, industrialised, rich and democratic) societies, marriage and birth rates are in decline, with women in particular opting to stay single. Meanwhile, technology has transformed the search for love 鈥� not necessarily for the better.
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鈥淎ll this has happened within a few generations,鈥� marvels Liat Yakir, a biologist and lecturer specialising in genetics. In A Brief History of Love: What attracts us, how we fall in love and why biology screws it all up, she aims to bring science and social and cultural factors to bear on the question: what鈥檚 love got to do with it?
Yakir sets aside her personal experience (as a two-time divorcee and single parent of two) to 鈥渢ry to understand what love is biologically, chemically and genetically鈥�. Drawing on a wide range of studies, most from evolutionary psychology, Yakir sets out how genes and hormones have influenced not only our individual experiences of love and attraction, but steered the course of humanity.
One minor example is the evolution of blue eyes, a genetic mutation that spread from one common ancestor and now makes up 8 per cent of the global population: 鈥渄izzying鈥� evidence, says Yakir, of the impact of sexual selection. 鈥淢ost of us are attracted to those who seem special in some way.鈥� (A recent study, however, offers another explanation: blue eyes can aid vision in low light.)
Today, dating apps take that desire for novelty to the extreme, as they present an overwhelming array of potential partners. The brain, says Yakir, 鈥渋s not built for such a load of stimuli鈥�, which ends up complicating the search for a partner and long-term love.
It goes to show that, though the contexts and circumstances in which we seek relationships might have changed beyond recognition, many of the evolutionary drivers and neural pathways remain consistent and seem crude: for example, the desire for the feel-good hormone oxytocin, and the urge to pass on genetic material.
Yakir is an expert consultant for the Israeli version of the reality show Married At First Sight and this is reflected in her reader-friendly tone and engaging selection of material. Naturally, A Brief History of Love is full of interesting scientific morsels on the mating game.
Some may be disheartening to readers seeking love. Take the mathematical finding Yakir cites that people in the UK have a 1 in 562 chance of falling in love on any given day. Likewise, Yakir鈥檚 point that, even among the estimated 5 per cent of species that mate with only one partner at a time, most 鈥渃heat at every opportunity鈥�. Only a dozen or so creatures are 鈥済enetically monogamous鈥�, pairing for life.
Humans, meanwhile, struggle to come down in favour of stability versus novelty, flagging us as neither naturally polygamous or monogamous but 鈥渁 tragically confused species鈥�, to quote the renowned neuroscientist and biologist Robert Sapolsky.
For singletons still hopeful of finding lasting love with one another, Yakir acknowledges that her findings may register as 鈥渕ore and more depressing鈥�. But there is also perhaps some relief in gaining greater understanding of the biological imperatives underpinning our impulses and behaviours, and why they might be poorly suited to modern times.
Yakir argues that any struggles we might have with sex, love and relationships are at least partly a reflection of our 鈥渃onfused age鈥�, and the evolved instincts and strategies that are no longer so essential to our species鈥� survival. Modern dating advice can be over-complicated and even over-intellectualised, especially online. By contrast, Yakir鈥檚 chapter of science-backed tips to find and keep 鈥渁 long-lasting love鈥� may register as a refreshing injection of clarity and common sense.
Sure, single women will need to be organised to schedule first dates around ovulation, as Yakir (perhaps naively) suggests it is a 鈥済ood idea鈥� to capitalise on the flattering effects of elevated oestrogen. And couples of long standing may struggle with the advice to swap five compliments daily and stare deeply into each other鈥檚 eyes 鈥渇or at least 30 seconds鈥�, ideally while naked.
But when the pursuit of love is often represented as a cross between a 鈥渂attle of the sexes鈥� and a game of four-dimensional chess, it can be helpful to be reminded, as Bloodhound Gang sang 25 years ago, that we 鈥渁in鈥檛 nothing but mammals鈥� 鈥� and love is, at least on some level, what we see done 鈥渙n the Discovery Channel鈥�.
Elle Hunt is a writer based in Norfolk, UK
