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Thank you to everyone who proposed questions for my new evidence-based advice column. This time, I am responding to a reader who is concerned about his daughters鈥� social anxiety. 鈥淔or one of them, this is so high that she feels unable to ever start a conversation with someone outside of the immediate family,鈥� he tells me. How can he help?

It is a major dilemma for many parents. affects adults and children alike, but it seems to be especially problematic in the second decade of life, with the US National Institute of Mental 午夜福利1000集合 estimating that around 11 per cent of adolescent girls and 7 per cent of adolescent boys meet the diagnostic criteria.

Anyone who is struggling should seek the help of a trained professional, who may offer medication or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). But there are also some immediate practical steps that you can take to soothe some of the worries.

For many people, the fear of others鈥� rejection by their own self-criticism. They can beat themselves up for . This can lead to excessive rumination after each encounter, thoughts that only lead them to feel greater fear the next time they have to talk to someone.

may therefore benefit from practices that encourage greater self-compassion. One first step is to spot the signs that we are descending into this negative thought spiral and to try to question the chain of thoughts. Since we may feel shame at the anxiety itself, which increases our sense of isolation, we can remind ourselves that many people have experienced similar feelings. And we can try to consciously cultivate kind thoughts by expressing concern and forgiveness in a sort of dialogue with ourselves. It might be as simple as thinking 鈥淚 know you are scared, but you鈥檝e got this under control鈥� or 鈥渋t is human to make a social mistake鈥�.

Self-compassion programmes often involve short meditations that encourage listeners to recognise the 鈥渟hared humanity鈥� of their painful feelings and to cultivate gentler thoughts towards themselves. You can find some examples in the resources below. Crucially, these exercises can be adapted for people of different ages, even the very young. 鈥� but they do seem to bolster resilience on many measures of mental health, including .

Perhaps the most important thing for our reader鈥檚 daughters to remember is that social anxiety is treatable. are perfectly capable of adopting new patterns of thought and behaviour. The way we feel today needn鈥檛 reflect the way we feel in the future 鈥� and recognising this fact can itself be a source of comfort during difficult periods.

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David Robson is an award-winning science writer and聽author of The Laws of Connection: 13 social strategies that will transform your life